Saturday, February 23, 2008
goodbye;
i put it next to my bed and look at it everyday... until my aunt ask me who gave it to and i said my girlfriend..... well.. dont know she believe or not cause im not dead yet....
Its still with me, in my wallet.........
A PROBLEM I AM HAVING
*edited again*
Hello everybody.... Well i know i have told everyone about this problem for a long time already and thank you to all my friends for trying to help me.. but well.. i still cant... get over it.. after so long.... As u all know my gf has broken up with me.. and well.. i still think about her, i still love her, i still have dreams of her almost everyday... Like i said.. its not her fault at all.. it has always been mine .. and i was stupid to lose such a great gf.... For the times of not calling her.. or going on to msn to keep her less lonely... or even get jealous easily over stupid things.... haizz... It was all my stupidity... and now... this is what i get... i lose her....
No matter how hard i try.... i just cant forget about her.... although i learned from my mistakes and try to move on by looking at other cute girls but i can never move on with another girl... its like.. i lost my powers and m only loyal to one now... and well its true cause i always promised myself never to cheat on her and i have never done that... and the reason i actually get jealous so easily was.. well.. its my deepest darkest secret which i wanted to tell her but i was afraid that she will break up with me because of that(well its something to do with my dad, last time i guess).... and now.. theres no point already cause i actually lost her... (to xin nee: if u want to know.. just sms me.. u have my number, i know u are not the kepo type but i hope that u want to know to know my true reason i get jealous so easily so that u can forgive me for being stupid)
I miss her truely.... its not because im lonely.. its not because im bored... the truth is... i really love her sooooo much..... and at first i thought maybe it was good that she left me because i had the kidney pain and i didnt want to burden her but without her... my heart is more painful than the pain in the kidney... I never wanted to be a failure in her midst.. she always pushed me to work hard.. to achieve to the person i want to be... its because of her... i did well for mufy and manage to move to Australia.. because of her.. i swear less now... and have become a better person.., because of her my knee is fine now cause i kind of got a consultation and i had to stop playing sports for 3 months... and she was always my dream girl, she even was in my dreams the whole time.. and i never wanted to wake up everytime she was there..when she was around.. i just felt the warmth.. the love..the feeling of someone who cared about me.... even tho she couldnt give me a birthday present or be with me when i was lonely... i didnt mind.. cause i knew i had her and it was the biggest treasure or present i wanted to have... i pray for her everyday and still do and even in my birthday wishes.. i wish for her to have a better life rather than i waste my wish on my material things like a ps3 or get good results in MUFY... i know im being over- dramatic here.. but isnt that wat people who is in love would do? If she wanted to study.. i could understand.. i would let her study... i dont want to break up just because of that.... Maybe im just a big softy... soo soft that i cant even get over a break up..... WAT AM I SUPPOSE TO DO????!!!!! My heart is crying... my kidney is giving me problems ( pee starting to get cloudy once in a while.. i dont know why) ... i feel... so... lonely even when im not.... walks in Australia just feels pointless without her... why do i give a crap about my health when the person i love is not there to say im stubborn.. to force me to do it... i loved the way she forced me or scold me when i get over, she kept me in a straight line in being a great guy, well at least i hope i am.. even when eating.. i love to put lots of parmesan cheese or sambal which is not really good for health..she will stop me.. and i loved that she cared.... Sometimes why i wonder i even bothered to come to Australia when i dont even get to be with her..
i just want another chance with her.. i dont care if we were going to start from the beginning all over again.. i just want to know what i did wrong and i dontwant do it anymore to her... and this time i really mean it... i swear... if i do it again.. she can make me do anything she wants... if she wants to torture me.. she can go ahead and torture me.. i dont care.. i just want another chance to be with her again.. to hug her... to be with her..... to feel that warmth again...... to here that laugh or feel her sadness when she is sad... like she used to say in her letters.. our love will be forever and i plan to follow it.....even if she does not anymore.. i dont want any other girls.. i dont care how hot or cute they are.. i just want my sweet star back..... T.T...
i might not be writing in for a month or so, but if i get over it..maybe i wil.... i guess... im just not ready for anything yet....... ciao guys and gals and HAVE A NICE DAY!!
"Men are like fine wine. They begin as grapes and it's up to women to stomp the shit out of them until they turn into something acceptable to have with dinner"
*edited again*
Hello everybody.... Well i know i have told everyone about this problem for a long time already and thank you to all my friends for trying to help me.. but well.. i still cant... get over it.. after so long.... As u all know my gf has broken up with me.. and well.. i still think about her, i still love her, i still have dreams of her almost everyday... Like i said.. its not her fault at all.. it has always been mine .. and i was stupid to lose such a great gf.... For the times of not calling her.. or going on to msn to keep her less lonely... or even get jealous easily over stupid things.... haizz... It was all my stupidity... and now... this is what i get... i lose her....
No matter how hard i try.... i just cant forget about her.... although i learned from my mistakes and try to move on by looking at other cute girls but i can never move on with another girl... its like.. i lost my powers and m only loyal to one now... and well its true cause i always promised myself never to cheat on her and i have never done that... and the reason i actually get jealous so easily was.. well.. its my deepest darkest secret which i wanted to tell her but i was afraid that she will break up with me because of that(well its something to do with my dad, last time i guess).... and now.. theres no point already cause i actually lost her... (to xin nee: if u want to know.. just sms me.. u have my number, i know u are not the kepo type but i hope that u want to know to know my true reason i get jealous so easily so that u can forgive me for being stupid)
I miss her truely.... its not because im lonely.. its not because im bored... the truth is... i really love her sooooo much..... and at first i thought maybe it was good that she left me because i had the kidney pain and i didnt want to burden her but without her... my heart is more painful than the pain in the kidney... I never wanted to be a failure in her midst.. she always pushed me to work hard.. to achieve to the person i want to be... its because of her... i did well for mufy and manage to move to Australia.. because of her.. i swear less now... and have become a better person.., because of her my knee is fine now cause i kind of got a consultation and i had to stop playing sports for 3 months... and she was always my dream girl, she even was in my dreams the whole time.. and i never wanted to wake up everytime she was there..when she was around.. i just felt the warmth.. the love..the feeling of someone who cared about me.... even tho she couldnt give me a birthday present or be with me when i was lonely... i didnt mind.. cause i knew i had her and it was the biggest treasure or present i wanted to have... i pray for her everyday and still do and even in my birthday wishes.. i wish for her to have a better life rather than i waste my wish on my material things like a ps3 or get good results in MUFY... i know im being over- dramatic here.. but isnt that wat people who is in love would do? If she wanted to study.. i could understand.. i would let her study... i dont want to break up just because of that.... Maybe im just a big softy... soo soft that i cant even get over a break up..... WAT AM I SUPPOSE TO DO????!!!!! My heart is crying... my kidney is giving me problems ( pee starting to get cloudy once in a while.. i dont know why) ... i feel... so... lonely even when im not.... walks in Australia just feels pointless without her... why do i give a crap about my health when the person i love is not there to say im stubborn.. to force me to do it... i loved the way she forced me or scold me when i get over, she kept me in a straight line in being a great guy, well at least i hope i am.. even when eating.. i love to put lots of parmesan cheese or sambal which is not really good for health..she will stop me.. and i loved that she cared.... Sometimes why i wonder i even bothered to come to Australia when i dont even get to be with her..
i just want another chance with her.. i dont care if we were going to start from the beginning all over again.. i just want to know what i did wrong and i dontwant do it anymore to her... and this time i really mean it... i swear... if i do it again.. she can make me do anything she wants... if she wants to torture me.. she can go ahead and torture me.. i dont care.. i just want another chance to be with her again.. to hug her... to be with her..... to feel that warmth again...... to here that laugh or feel her sadness when she is sad... like she used to say in her letters.. our love will be forever and i plan to follow it.....even if she does not anymore.. i dont want any other girls.. i dont care how hot or cute they are.. i just want my sweet star back..... T.T...
i might not be writing in for a month or so, but if i get over it..maybe i wil.... i guess... im just not ready for anything yet....... ciao guys and gals and HAVE A NICE DAY!!
"Men are like fine wine. They begin as grapes and it's up to women to stomp the shit out of them until they turn into something acceptable to have with dinner"
ilovedyou;
6:27 PM
6:27 PM
