Saturday, February 23, 2008
goodbye;
i put it next to my bed and look at it everyday... until my aunt ask me who gave it to and i said my girlfriend..... well.. dont know she believe or not cause im not dead yet....
Its still with me, in my wallet.........
A PROBLEM I AM HAVING
*edited again*
Hello everybody.... Well i know i have told everyone about this problem for a long time already and thank you to all my friends for trying to help me.. but well.. i still cant... get over it.. after so long.... As u all know my gf has broken up with me.. and well.. i still think about her, i still love her, i still have dreams of her almost everyday... Like i said.. its not her fault at all.. it has always been mine .. and i was stupid to lose such a great gf.... For the times of not calling her.. or going on to msn to keep her less lonely... or even get jealous easily over stupid things.... haizz... It was all my stupidity... and now... this is what i get... i lose her....
No matter how hard i try.... i just cant forget about her.... although i learned from my mistakes and try to move on by looking at other cute girls but i can never move on with another girl... its like.. i lost my powers and m only loyal to one now... and well its true cause i always promised myself never to cheat on her and i have never done that... and the reason i actually get jealous so easily was.. well.. its my deepest darkest secret which i wanted to tell her but i was afraid that she will break up with me because of that(well its something to do with my dad, last time i guess).... and now.. theres no point already cause i actually lost her... (to xin nee: if u want to know.. just sms me.. u have my number, i know u are not the kepo type but i hope that u want to know to know my true reason i get jealous so easily so that u can forgive me for being stupid)
I miss her truely.... its not because im lonely.. its not because im bored... the truth is... i really love her sooooo much..... and at first i thought maybe it was good that she left me because i had the kidney pain and i didnt want to burden her but without her... my heart is more painful than the pain in the kidney... I never wanted to be a failure in her midst.. she always pushed me to work hard.. to achieve to the person i want to be... its because of her... i did well for mufy and manage to move to Australia.. because of her.. i swear less now... and have become a better person.., because of her my knee is fine now cause i kind of got a consultation and i had to stop playing sports for 3 months... and she was always my dream girl, she even was in my dreams the whole time.. and i never wanted to wake up everytime she was there..when she was around.. i just felt the warmth.. the love..the feeling of someone who cared about me.... even tho she couldnt give me a birthday present or be with me when i was lonely... i didnt mind.. cause i knew i had her and it was the biggest treasure or present i wanted to have... i pray for her everyday and still do and even in my birthday wishes.. i wish for her to have a better life rather than i waste my wish on my material things like a ps3 or get good results in MUFY... i know im being over- dramatic here.. but isnt that wat people who is in love would do? If she wanted to study.. i could understand.. i would let her study... i dont want to break up just because of that.... Maybe im just a big softy... soo soft that i cant even get over a break up..... WAT AM I SUPPOSE TO DO????!!!!! My heart is crying... my kidney is giving me problems ( pee starting to get cloudy once in a while.. i dont know why) ... i feel... so... lonely even when im not.... walks in Australia just feels pointless without her... why do i give a crap about my health when the person i love is not there to say im stubborn.. to force me to do it... i loved the way she forced me or scold me when i get over, she kept me in a straight line in being a great guy, well at least i hope i am.. even when eating.. i love to put lots of parmesan cheese or sambal which is not really good for health..she will stop me.. and i loved that she cared.... Sometimes why i wonder i even bothered to come to Australia when i dont even get to be with her..
i just want another chance with her.. i dont care if we were going to start from the beginning all over again.. i just want to know what i did wrong and i dontwant do it anymore to her... and this time i really mean it... i swear... if i do it again.. she can make me do anything she wants... if she wants to torture me.. she can go ahead and torture me.. i dont care.. i just want another chance to be with her again.. to hug her... to be with her..... to feel that warmth again...... to here that laugh or feel her sadness when she is sad... like she used to say in her letters.. our love will be forever and i plan to follow it.....even if she does not anymore.. i dont want any other girls.. i dont care how hot or cute they are.. i just want my sweet star back..... T.T...
i might not be writing in for a month or so, but if i get over it..maybe i wil.... i guess... im just not ready for anything yet....... ciao guys and gals and HAVE A NICE DAY!!
"Men are like fine wine. They begin as grapes and it's up to women to stomp the shit out of them until they turn into something acceptable to have with dinner"
*edited again*
Hello everybody.... Well i know i have told everyone about this problem for a long time already and thank you to all my friends for trying to help me.. but well.. i still cant... get over it.. after so long.... As u all know my gf has broken up with me.. and well.. i still think about her, i still love her, i still have dreams of her almost everyday... Like i said.. its not her fault at all.. it has always been mine .. and i was stupid to lose such a great gf.... For the times of not calling her.. or going on to msn to keep her less lonely... or even get jealous easily over stupid things.... haizz... It was all my stupidity... and now... this is what i get... i lose her....
No matter how hard i try.... i just cant forget about her.... although i learned from my mistakes and try to move on by looking at other cute girls but i can never move on with another girl... its like.. i lost my powers and m only loyal to one now... and well its true cause i always promised myself never to cheat on her and i have never done that... and the reason i actually get jealous so easily was.. well.. its my deepest darkest secret which i wanted to tell her but i was afraid that she will break up with me because of that(well its something to do with my dad, last time i guess).... and now.. theres no point already cause i actually lost her... (to xin nee: if u want to know.. just sms me.. u have my number, i know u are not the kepo type but i hope that u want to know to know my true reason i get jealous so easily so that u can forgive me for being stupid)
I miss her truely.... its not because im lonely.. its not because im bored... the truth is... i really love her sooooo much..... and at first i thought maybe it was good that she left me because i had the kidney pain and i didnt want to burden her but without her... my heart is more painful than the pain in the kidney... I never wanted to be a failure in her midst.. she always pushed me to work hard.. to achieve to the person i want to be... its because of her... i did well for mufy and manage to move to Australia.. because of her.. i swear less now... and have become a better person.., because of her my knee is fine now cause i kind of got a consultation and i had to stop playing sports for 3 months... and she was always my dream girl, she even was in my dreams the whole time.. and i never wanted to wake up everytime she was there..when she was around.. i just felt the warmth.. the love..the feeling of someone who cared about me.... even tho she couldnt give me a birthday present or be with me when i was lonely... i didnt mind.. cause i knew i had her and it was the biggest treasure or present i wanted to have... i pray for her everyday and still do and even in my birthday wishes.. i wish for her to have a better life rather than i waste my wish on my material things like a ps3 or get good results in MUFY... i know im being over- dramatic here.. but isnt that wat people who is in love would do? If she wanted to study.. i could understand.. i would let her study... i dont want to break up just because of that.... Maybe im just a big softy... soo soft that i cant even get over a break up..... WAT AM I SUPPOSE TO DO????!!!!! My heart is crying... my kidney is giving me problems ( pee starting to get cloudy once in a while.. i dont know why) ... i feel... so... lonely even when im not.... walks in Australia just feels pointless without her... why do i give a crap about my health when the person i love is not there to say im stubborn.. to force me to do it... i loved the way she forced me or scold me when i get over, she kept me in a straight line in being a great guy, well at least i hope i am.. even when eating.. i love to put lots of parmesan cheese or sambal which is not really good for health..she will stop me.. and i loved that she cared.... Sometimes why i wonder i even bothered to come to Australia when i dont even get to be with her..
i just want another chance with her.. i dont care if we were going to start from the beginning all over again.. i just want to know what i did wrong and i dontwant do it anymore to her... and this time i really mean it... i swear... if i do it again.. she can make me do anything she wants... if she wants to torture me.. she can go ahead and torture me.. i dont care.. i just want another chance to be with her again.. to hug her... to be with her..... to feel that warmth again...... to here that laugh or feel her sadness when she is sad... like she used to say in her letters.. our love will be forever and i plan to follow it.....even if she does not anymore.. i dont want any other girls.. i dont care how hot or cute they are.. i just want my sweet star back..... T.T...
i might not be writing in for a month or so, but if i get over it..maybe i wil.... i guess... im just not ready for anything yet....... ciao guys and gals and HAVE A NICE DAY!!
"Men are like fine wine. They begin as grapes and it's up to women to stomp the shit out of them until they turn into something acceptable to have with dinner"
ilovedyou;
6:27 PM
6:27 PM
Tuesday, February 19, 2008
goodbye;
If I ever write the story of my life
Don’t be suprised if you’re where it begins
Girl, I’d have to dedicate every line on every page
To the memories we made, while you loved me
I was born the day you kissed me
And I died inside the night you left me
But I lived, oh how I lived
While you loved me
I’d start with chapter one, love innocent and young
As the morning sun on a new day
Even though I know the end, Well I’d do it all again
‘Cause I got a lifetime in, while you loved me
Don’t be suprised if you’re where it begins
Girl, I’d have to dedicate every line on every page
To the memories we made, while you loved me
I was born the day you kissed me
And I died inside the night you left me
But I lived, oh how I lived
While you loved me
I’d start with chapter one, love innocent and young
As the morning sun on a new day
Even though I know the end, Well I’d do it all again
‘Cause I got a lifetime in, while you loved me
ORIENTATION
Well.. how are ya sheila's and my mates... this is gonna be a short post and no pics.. sorry.. not much to take as i have been skipping some of the orientation... =P . Orientation was quite fun as i met quite a lot of friends and learned about the different cultures that was joining me in my faculty.. Havent really seen many first year malaysian students.. i guess they wont be many. There were more 2nd and third year student in the orientation... Oh well guess i will be studying with all the ang moh's and aussy's... Basically, the orientation that i went to was quite informative i guess even tho i knew most of the things already but it helped me to be able to make friends pretty quickly and also like i said , get to know their culture and their likings.... the best part of the orientation was when the police officers came to give us a talk about the safety's and laws in Melbourne and they were really funny.. LOL.. loved it sooo much.. thats was the best part... the others were just informative sessions to let us know about melbourne... I got another orientation on Thursday which is only for the business faculty, i wonder what boring stuff are coming up next but at least ill get to hopefully see meet more friends.. or hopefully will make it for the orientation.. LOL... ;P
Oh yah.. and my timetable just got released today.. i admit that god has done great things and this is one of them.. among all my rojakness when i was choosing for my preference for each subject which i filled up the whole 5 days, i got a pretty good timetable actually... i dont have classes on wednesday... i dont have classes in the morning.. like 8am or something. The earliest tutorial class is at 10am.. so its still ok at least and on friday i only got 1 class at 2pm.. which means i can sleep late and wake up late.. woohoo!!.. the only problem is that i finish at 4pm.. which i guess its still ok cause thats the time i normally finish in Kl anywayz... so yah.. id like to thank god soo much for giving me that timetable.. and i mean it.. its a great one although i dont like some of the placings but theres always a reason for that i know god knows it... :)
Anywayz.. i think ill end it here.. ill try to get more pics.. but i got nobody to take it for me so its quite hard getting pics.. oh yah.. have fun with UNI everybody, good luck in everything that you all do and get the scholarships ya.. hehe... okies.. JKhaw is signing off.. ciaozzz.. and HAVE A NICE DAY!!! ;)
Oh yah.. and my timetable just got released today.. i admit that god has done great things and this is one of them.. among all my rojakness when i was choosing for my preference for each subject which i filled up the whole 5 days, i got a pretty good timetable actually... i dont have classes on wednesday... i dont have classes in the morning.. like 8am or something. The earliest tutorial class is at 10am.. so its still ok at least and on friday i only got 1 class at 2pm.. which means i can sleep late and wake up late.. woohoo!!.. the only problem is that i finish at 4pm.. which i guess its still ok cause thats the time i normally finish in Kl anywayz... so yah.. id like to thank god soo much for giving me that timetable.. and i mean it.. its a great one although i dont like some of the placings but theres always a reason for that i know god knows it... :)
Anywayz.. i think ill end it here.. ill try to get more pics.. but i got nobody to take it for me so its quite hard getting pics.. oh yah.. have fun with UNI everybody, good luck in everything that you all do and get the scholarships ya.. hehe... okies.. JKhaw is signing off.. ciaozzz.. and HAVE A NICE DAY!!! ;)
"My Wish"
I hope that the days come easy and the moments pass slow,
And each road leads you where you want to go,
And if you're faced with a choice, and you have to choose,
I hope you choose the one that means the most to you.
And if one door opens to another door closed,
I hope you keep on walkin' till you find the window,
If it's cold outside, show the world the warmth of your smile,
But more than anything, more than anything,
My wish, for you, is that this life becomes all that you want it to,
Your dreams stay big, and your worries stay small,
You never need to carry more than you can hold,
And while you're out there getting where you're getting to,
I hope you know somebody loves you, and wants the same things too,
Yeah, this, is my wish.
I hope you never look back, but ya never forget,
All the ones who love you, in the place you left,
I hope you always forgive, and you never regret,
And you help somebody every chance you get,
Oh, you find God's grace, in every mistake,
And you always give more than you take.
I hope that the days come easy and the moments pass slow,
And each road leads you where you want to go,
And if you're faced with a choice, and you have to choose,
I hope you choose the one that means the most to you.
And if one door opens to another door closed,
I hope you keep on walkin' till you find the window,
If it's cold outside, show the world the warmth of your smile,
But more than anything, more than anything,
My wish, for you, is that this life becomes all that you want it to,
Your dreams stay big, and your worries stay small,
You never need to carry more than you can hold,
And while you're out there getting where you're getting to,
I hope you know somebody loves you, and wants the same things too,
Yeah, this, is my wish.
I hope you never look back, but ya never forget,
All the ones who love you, in the place you left,
I hope you always forgive, and you never regret,
And you help somebody every chance you get,
Oh, you find God's grace, in every mistake,
And you always give more than you take.
ilovedyou;
7:02 PM
7:02 PM
Thursday, February 14, 2008
goodbye;
OUTSIDE MY UNCLE'S HOUSE, PEACEFUL PLACE
ME POSING.. THINK I WAS AT THE SOUTH MELBOURNE MARKET.. VERY COOL PLACE..=)
A CHURCH OUTSIDE FLINDER STATION
VERY CUTE AND BEAUTIFUL DOGS... THINK THEY ARE ALASKAN HUSKEY'S IF IM NOT MISTAKEN..
ME POSING AT THE MOONEE POND PARK, NICE PLACE FOR PICNIC AND TAKING A STROLL
WAS WALKING TO MOONEE PONDS TOWN SO DECIDED TO TAKE PICS =P
MY AUNT AND MY MUM OUTSIDE CROWN
MY UNCLE, MY AUNTIE'S AND PARENTS CHILLING AT THE CAFE OUTSIDE CROWN..=)AUSTRALIA
Hello folks.. im finally in Australia, and because of some people's request i decided to post my pics although not enough but i will try to post more later on when i go out more.. haha.. now currently just lazing around at home playing games and looking into the computer like a freaking zombie....
Well anywayz, im glad im here.. its a wonderful place to be in and i have had a lucky run so far, i have had cool whether the whole time i was here. Just like home sweet home with my air con blasting away, the only difference is the ones in australia is bloody free and natural, haha.. Food here is for Sumo's i swear the portion they serve here is like 2 to 3 times the size of malaysia's large portion. Well maybe 3 times is like 3 times penang size char koay teow.. lol.. Im enjoying everything here from the culture, the life and ermm... well... cant think of anything.. the most important thing is the life here.. haha... Havent gone to see that kangaroo's and the koala's yet... hopefully will be able to see one soon... as my tram to uni passes that place..
Oh yah.. and talking about Uni... well.. im going to suffer the whole year travelling up and down.. i have been going to uni up and down and have been timing myself and it take about 1 hour and 15 minutes to reach uni.. lol... worse than in KL... some more i cant drive the bloody train or tram... haizz.. the good thing is that the tram passes Parkville campus.. so i can go 'KACAU' Jeane and .... Xin nee.. well hopefully they are still there if not just go kacau any girl there la.. hahaha.. XD. Caufield is a great campus maybe not as big as Clayton but its good enough for me.. as the business faculty hsa a new building so its like moving into Malaysia's new campus.. wahaha.. and im looking forward to this whole new adventure in the outback.. time to live life aussy style, and i have got lots to learn..
Everybody here is polite and ask how are you and stuff.. unlike malaysia that just greets the person by saying "oi!!" or "lu tengok apa?? mahu mati ka?" or even on the road.. when a pedestarian crosses at a zebra crossing, cars have to stop... unlike malaysia... " Screech!! BANG!! oii.. bodoh.. tak tahu tengok ada kereta datang ka ini jalan untuk kereta la bodoh? lu mati lu punya pasal wor" and then drives off ...
Other than that, i have just been enjoying myself really... gettin use to this place and trying to keep fit by playing football regularly although still injured from it but i cant stop or else... my fats are gonna build up quickly with the large and delicious food here.. haha...
Even though im having lots of fun here.. im still missing everybody back home in Malaysia.. from my family to my friends to even my enemies.. haha.. still quite lonely here cause still got no friends and even though i have any new friends i will never miss the ones back homes as they brought me one of the best memories in life, the crazy stuff we did the laughs that we had, it was all amazing... but we have to move forward unfortunately and the past will always be the past eh... hopefully.. most of them will get here soon.. Think once uni starts its all gonna be business for me.. no time for anything else.. hopefully its gonna help me forget some of my hurtful past.. its a new year.. and i think its gonna be a lucky year again.. hopefully.. =) ITs time to grow up and start learning as i feel that i am a better person now and i know i can be better by taking one step at a time and slowly learn.. like i told one of my friend, since its a new life now.. i have decided to become more of a gentleman.. haha.. and hopefully will stick to it.. =)
MY VALENTINE'S DAY LUNCH
MY VALENTINE'S DAY WITH THE BIRDS WATCHING ME
Well as you all can see the pics above, my valentine's day wasnt wat i expected but i guess thats the life of a single bachelor in a new country eh... if it was not because of my stupidity it might not have ended up this way but hey.. its something to learn from and to get over it.. the love will always be there but for me.. all i ever wanted was the person im with to be happy and live a life without torture that im holding her back or even the heart ache i caused to her by doing stupid things like not call her.. thats why to tell u all the truth and publicly when she broke up with me.. i didnt try to argue with her or try to find a way to resolve it.. cause i knew it was time that she moved on without my lack of attention to her and making her unhappy.. Only thing i can say that is i will always love her and the presents from her especially the star in the bottle and the cards, i will cherish it forever!! and i still look at those stars everyday....i miss her...Well anywayz.. all i know is i have learned from it and i have gotten over all the bad stuff in my life and in a way im saying that im in a rehabilitation to become a better person, a changed person, a gentleman , a new person... i have never looked at myself until now, after all this things happening to me throughout the year, it is really something to learn from and be closer to god i guess as he had given me all those hurdles and although i stumbled and loss i still learned from it and it changed me.. which includes less jealousy..wooohoo.. haha.. =P
Anywayz.. its really late here now and i have another busy day tomorrow so guess its time to end my blog... i will post more pics if i have really nice ones... so KARI... happy now?? or u need more pics.. LOL.. and to everyone out there... HAVE A HAPPY VALENTINE's DAY.... here is a pic of a rose i took.. it was really beautiful...... =) and they are dedicated to all of u guys and gals as a sign of love and how much i miss u guys and gals and also thanks for everything.. cheers.. and Have A Nice Day!!!
ilovedyou;
9:01 PM
9:01 PM
Wednesday, February 13, 2008
goodbye;
Have you ever looked at the stars and wonder about how beautiful life is on earth or how beautiful earth is?? Its amazing how stars look here in Australia, i mean they are almost they same as malaysia but you have this feeling kind of feeling when you see the stars here.. maybe its only me.. but i found out how amazing it felt when i was gazing at the stars in the sky.. clear and bright...
It made me appreciate the life that i had on earth, the beauty we had and i wondered why we had to destroy it all just like just because we were pursuing to be a modern society? why must we destroy everything to pursue wealth and fortune? what is the point of pursuing all this when we sill suffer when earth is destroyed?
Even when i was in the airplane.. i gazed out at the dark sky glittered with the thousands of shiny stars, i thought about my life and my past and how could i be a better person in this new place i was going to and i asked myself why should we follow people's culture of being rude, being arrogant, being racists or even selfish when it's us who controls our own lives and it is us that has our own mind , own thinking.... it is not about being cool our being the best guy or gal in the group, whats the point of being cool when we are not even in our own personality when we follow this losers? Forgive me if im not talking about my daily life and some emo stuff now, but go think about it... why should we do all this? what benefit does it provide? why should we be weak and let people climb over our back just because we are nice? why should be taken advantage of just to have friends? i rather have no friends than to have friends like them... why should we be unappreciated for things that we have done and be their Bi***s ?
I guess i know why god didnt want adam and eve to eat those apples.... it gave them conciouness of being a human being which has led to the many disasters, wars, and racism war over the millions of years...
Well anywayz.. that was just brooding over it for the past week... so thought of just voicing it out on the blog.... and yah.. as i have promised some people.. i will post my australia life soon.. dont have enought pics la.. LOL.. =P anywayz.. jason signing off.. ciao guys and gals.. and Have A Nice Day!!
ilovedyou;
10:54 AM
10:54 AM
Thursday, February 07, 2008
goodbye;
HAPPY CHINESE NEW YEAR EVERYONE!
Hey people.. happy chinese new year... its the year of the rat... woohoo.. hope u all have a great life... great health... great prosperity... great in your studies.... and great in eveerything that u do... its something that has been said many times but i believe its really gonna happen to everybody especially the friends and family that i care and love
Also i want to thank the friends and family that have given me stuff before i left.. i felt really bad getting those stuff and i will repay it by treating u all when i get back. Thank you all so much for the gifts and effort that has gone to see me off to Melbourne, u all have really truely been good people and friends thank you... and also thank you for the support and the goodbys as well.. hopefully i will see u all soon.. study hard and get to aussyland guys and gals..
I will post more about my aussy week soon.. when i get my laptop back up and working.. most likely will post it next week.. so look out for it.. =) bye guys.. enjoy ur holidays.. jason signing off.. peace out.. and have a nice day!!!! =)
ilovedyou;
8:33 PM
8:33 PM
