Wednesday, December 05, 2007
goodbye;
Have been doing lots of thinking this few weeks which led me to not rant in my blogs for a long time.... and it was a educational one i guess... After lots of thinking, i finally decided its time to move on and its finally time to finalise my decision to forget about all that has happened in my relationship. Firstly, i decided to give up was because i didnt want to burden her with my health problems which is getting worse day by day. Secondly, while i was with her, all i ever wanted to do was keep her happy and I would literally do anything for her. It didnt ever matter whether i was injured, sad, angry, or had my own problems... all i ever wanted to do was make her happy and everytime when i failed to do so, it would make me sad and think about what i have done and if breaking up with me made her happy then well I have to accept it then. Her happiness is more important than my own. You might all think this is ridiculous but I never found it ridiculous even for one second, because I loved her so much and I never even for one bit regretted doing things for her or helping her. It was well worth it….. if only I could tell her all this….. Never in my life have I loved a girl so much that I would sacrifice everything for her but guess I never thought about her when I was sacrificing my time to study hard so I could go Australia… a thing that will always be regretted for the rest of my life.
I guess I am a person that would rather care or help people then help myself, I have never really cared about my life and if sacrificing my life to save a person’s life I would do it. Sometimes I might come ego-istic, a show off, or even selfish but I have never meant any of it. In fact to tell you all the truth, after doing all this stupid stuff, I actually think about and regret the stuff I have done but I never apologize to them maybe cause of my egoness taking over.. :P . Like everybody says, as we grow older, we learn more things and become wiser which is really true cause I have learned so many things about people and how and what people really are. Even as we mordernize, I find that people nowadays are just coming more prehistoric or morelike a barbarian and that’s where I learned never to follow in the footsteps of this people even though it might be the way to become the CEO of a company or make u a millionaire. What is the point of being all this when our attitude as human beings is equal to the characters of our animal counterparts.
Anywayz, its been a year filled with trials and tribulations and it really has been a hard hurdle to past. My birthday as usual was a sucky one and always will be… don’t think I ever had a great birthday, at least none that I can remember off. Every year.. there will be always some kind of problem, from family problems or other nonsense… Although I look happy on the outside, there is always something missing inside me that I have never found. One more thing that nobody actually realizes I guess, that sometimes I might portray myself as a happy go lucky guy but at times im troubled inside. Sad case eh… hmm.. im so used to it that I just go on with life just like that and remain a lie to myself and continue helping other people without any of u all realizing it. Anywayz.. ill leave some questions for u to think about (I got it from westlife’s latest song lyrics.. :P) and all my answers is yes….
- HAVE YOU EVER LOVED SOMEBODY SO MUCH IT MAKES YOU CRY?
- HAVE YOU EVER NEEDED SOMETHING SO BAD YOU CANT SLEEP AT NIGHT?
- HAVE YOU EVER TRY TO FIND THE WORDS BUT THEY DON’T COME OUT RIGHT?
- HAVE YOU EVER BEEN IN LOVE, IN LOVE SO BAD THAT YOU WILL DO ANYTHING TO MAKE THEM UNDERSTAND?
- HAVE YOU EVER HAD SOMEONE STEAL YOUR HEART AWAY THAT YOU WILL GIVE ANYTHING TO MAKE THEM FEEL THE SAME?
- HAVE YOU EVER SEARCHED FOR WORDS TO GET YOU INTO THEIR HEART BUT YOU DON’T KNOW WHAT TO SAY AND YOU DON’T KNOW WHERE TO START?
- HAVE YOU EVER FOUND THE ONE THAT YOU HAVE DREAMED ALL YOUR LIFE, THAT YOU WILL DO JUST ABOUT ANYTHING TO LOOK INTO THEIR EYES?
- HAVE YOU EVER FOUND THE ONE THAT YOU HAVE GIVEN YOUR HEART TO ONLY TO FIND THE ONE, WON’T GIVE THE HEART TO YOU?
- HAVE YOU EVER CLOSED YOUR EYES AND DREAMED THAT THEY WERE THERE AND ALL YOU CAN DO IS WAIT FOR THE DAY THEY WILL CARE?
