Thursday, November 08, 2007
goodbye;
me. my dear and me again.. :P the small boy was also jason
Studying was boring without her.... she studied while i looked.. :P
She is my dear , she is the love of my life, she is Tan Xin Nee, my girlfriend . I decided to write cause i remembered a certain promise that i will tell the whole world how much i love her and i guess... writing through this blog is one way that everybody might read it... :P .
To me , she is cute , beautiful , helpful , friendly and she is the one that i want to cherish sooooo much ... i miss her a lot and everyday i wonder how she is in Australia. You all must be wondering how sweet to write about her right? Well... im not sweet cause i broke a lot of promises even tho i promised that i wouldnt and i really regret those stuff that i did. i wish i could go back in time to fufill those promises but i guess in this world time travel is still in the minds of scientists and have not been set into stone. I still feel bad that i never went back to JB when she was back due to a busy schedule i had during that period and my parents came up every weekend, so i couldnt go back on weekends either. Haizz.. life sucks when things turn up to spoil the plans that u have planned for so long. I guess, there was a reason why life made things this way.... it was to test how we could last in a long distance relationship for a year and well... it helped me learn a lot and made me miss her lotzzz more and learn to cherish ur loved ones even more. I missed her so badly that everytime i listened to a song , it was always a love song and every where i looked... the person looked like her, and i always thought that only happened in cartoons. I have never felt sooo lonely before in my whole life even though i am an only child... Sometimes i just feel like crying on why i missed that chance to go back to JB but i cant...(male egoness) ....haha..
Anywayz.. i really miss those days with her... when i feel her warmth , her love, her assurance that she is there for me no matter wat, everytime i see those pics i have a lot of flashbacks nice and bad... made me reflect on my life on how i should change the wrongdoings that i have done through the relationship. It is never easy to remain faithful to our partner or even easy to maintain the relationship but if a person really loves his or her partner, everything is possible.....
Sometimes i ask myself questions whether i have ever cherished or showed much i love her enough .Like ronan keating's song "If tomorrow never comes" ... "if tomorrow comes, will she know how much i love her, did i try in everyway to show her everyday that she is my only one?" That song is beautiful by the way.. lol ..
Guess ill never know that answer unless she reads this blog la.. :P
Woah .. talking about de javu... the song is playing now.. out of my thousands of songs, its playing now.... let me sing to u... If tomooorroow never comes, will she know how much i love her... lol.. i know my singing is bad... the only way i can express... no choice..:P . To tell u all the truth, i have never loved someone sooooo much before( besides my parents) and its a very weird feeling.... my heart beats irregularly(wait... it could be heart problem.. lol) .. everytime i think about her.... and like as stated above everywhere i go , i see her... If thats not love then there must be something wrong with me... HELP!!! ...haha .Nah..dont think i want to lose that feeling.... sometimes it feels nice especially when ur alone....
oh well... love blinds the beholder as everyone says... the best thing out of all this is that i have not forgotten this quote or poem(not good at telling what it is) even tho i tend to forget a lot of things. The quote was written by her and as i quote
" if i had a single flower,
for everytime i think about u,
I could walk in my garden forever."
for everytime i think about u,
I could walk in my garden forever."
and i would never forget it cause im already walking in my garden and im going to walk with her through it forever..................
To my Dear Xin Nee,
Im sorry that i have wronged u and made u sad or angry or frustrated u with all my nonsense and my jealousy. My life has never been in such a mess since u left for Australia and i miss u alot. Im so lost without u, u guide me to who i want to be . Thank you for everything u have done or said or even standing by my side when i needed someone... All i can say is that I LOVE U!!! and u will always be a part of my heart forever no matter what happens.......
" Stars might be a thousands light years away from us,
but i will always have my beautiful star kept close in my heart"
but i will always have my beautiful star kept close in my heart"
ciao..Jason K signing off...
ilovedyou;
10:52 AM
10:52 AM
