Tuesday, November 20, 2007
goodbye;
I mean most of the words from this song.. i hope u all enjoy it!! ;)
Welll im finally back in JB... wohoo!! and feeling bored... haizz... have already eaten the food that i was longing for.. been to the places i have been.... and.... played the sports i want to play... except badminton... =(. Well.. havent been typing in this blog lately cause of my stupid internet connection... so slow... sobz.. i wish i was back in KL downloading my songs, and shows .. haizz.....
Anywayz coming back to JB was also no fun cause... well.. my gf has broken up with me.... well.. at first i was alright and was happy about it cause i had some health problems that didnt want to burden her for the rest of her life which i never told her cause ... well... she was always busy and i didnt want to distract her from her studies.(Why did u all think i lost weight so fast...) To tell u all the truth... the reason i talked about the song "tomorrow never comes" that day was because i was in pain while i was typing and the song also played so... yeah.... Thats why i never told anyone... i know u all must be thinking what a stupid fool i am but u know... xin nee has always made my life a happy one and i always loved the way she will tell me what to do and what not to do.. she was my dream girl, the girl i always wanted, she was the one that guided me to be a gentleman, or in other words a better man.
But what did i do?? i was
stupid enough to let her go and didnt call her, didnt notice that she needed me when she was alone.... i regretted everything that i did... i have been thinking ever since(u dont want to know how long i have been sleeping everyday)... why was i sooo stupid... i could have called her even though i was studying.... i should have talked to her or told her that i couldnt come back to JB because of the busy schedule i had... but hey... its too late now aint it... All i can do now is regret every single mistake that i made to lose her... maybe if i told my parents earlier.. things would have changed but noooooooo... i was such a pussy and never told them... i guess i was sooo selfish until i didnt notice how my gf was feeling.. guess thats what everybody faces in life aint it... being too selfish and too busy to realise that their partner needs them.. sometimes i think that is one of the reasons why relationship fails, they never care for their partner enough, in fact sometimes they might think what they are doing for is for their loved ones but what their partners actually need is the love and care and the constant closeness in a relationship especially in a long distance relationship. i did care for my gf, but always did the wrong caring and never realised it.. and now my chance is gone...nothing can heal me now. No other love can give me the same satisfaction as what she gave to me... and i know how my friend Alvin felt when we had this problem.... Its like you have found the ONE but u just let it slip away by doing stupid things... different case for him but its still connected in a way...
Eveytime i think about the past, the happy times we had together... i just miss her soo much and wished how i could have gone back in time to worship the ground that she walked on and loved her and cared for her more than ever before. How she pushed me to be matured and learn to think more carefully before i talked was what has brought me to be able to survive in KL. I was actually a shy person, a weak person until i met her... from then on, i always tried to impress her and like what she likes so that we had more stuff in common even though later on i found out that we really had lots of stuff in common... To tell you all the truth, i have never really talked to a girl until i met xin nee, i was really shy back then.. u can ask my high school friends if u dont believe, i always hanged out with the guys... LIke i said... she was the one that pushed me to be a better man .. but i guess... i should be blamed for not appreciating her enough and never loved her or thought how about her feelings.....
So anywayz..... to my dear xin nee:
i hope u will forgive me.... although i hope we can back together but its all up to you... i dont want to force u to love me.... IM REALLY sorry if i really hurt u or never thought about how u felt during the exam times... i never realised how lonely u were even though i knew u hate being alone......... im sooooo sorry.All i ever wanted to do is make u and keep u happy, Im willing to change just as long as ur happy.. sorry... anywayz.... i hope u have a great future and hopefully u get a better guy and live a great life and be sucessful in your career.. Thank you for all the things that you have done for me, and cared for me, i will always cherish it with all my heart and like i always said nothing i do will ever be enough to repay how much your love has done to me... dont think i ever will get any other girl.... cause i want to remember the times that we cherished forever.. and because of my health problem.. but anyways.. forget about that... good luck in ur exams and have a great life... keep on smiling .. be happy... my little tortoise and shine like the brightest star in the sky!!! I LOVE U FOREVER!!!!!!
"Friends will come and go in life
but the love for your loved ones will last forever in our hearts"
